Question for everybody

[Pezzy]

Say you have a Significant Other. Now say this SO does not share your appreciation for anime, vn's, hentai, etc.  So you tell him or her that you like these things?  Or do you just hide it?  If you hide it, for how long?

This is my quandry.  Do I fill my wife in on my perversions?  Or do I continue to live my life as I have been, keeping this part of me secret?  She knows I like cartoons (US cartoons, generally super hero related or old school 80's), but what Japan produces is on a whole different level...

[laplacian]

Well if she's your wife, you should generally be able to share with her quite a lot, as long as it's not the dangerous stuff (guro, loli, bestiality). Just don't expect her to support your hobby in any form I guess.

Heh, she might even already know it and just keep silent.

[Pezzy]

Guess I shouldn't let her see me play Wanko to Kurasou then (already played that, so I don't think that's going to happen).  I think I'm going to have her give the anime "Another" a shot.  She likes ghost/horror stuff.

[Mana]

There's being open about something and then there's being dumb.

Hiding your power level at this point is useless. Just use your common sense to let her know about your hobbies and avoid making her hate them by showing her the wrong things or not shutting up about it.

[Dusk]

Avoid trouble. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. I've got an image to uphold here. So, if it was me, I wouldn't even let her into my room. I mean, we all hide our porn mags, right? Just because I look like a nerd doesn't mean I'm a herbivore.

Of course, she could have a similar hobby *cough* BL *cough* that she's hiding from you. And maybe if you would be a man and show her everything, she might get emotional and show you hers. But then the question would become, what would you do when you find out about her weird fetish and you can't handle it?

[Pezzy]

Dusk - I don't know if your approach would work.  First off, porn mags?  Do people still buy those?  And second, not allowing a SO into your personal space is pretty much grounds to no longer have a SO.  First rule of (most) women - they do not trust you when you openly keep things private.  Never let them use your computer?  Never let them use your phone?  Never leave them alone in your room?  You must be hiding something, and by the laws of female logic, that means you're cheating!  Remember, females don't think rationally like us males do.  As a married man, I'm qualified to state that.

Mana - I'm still going to try to test the waters by having her watch Another.  I spoke with her last night, and she agreed to at least give it a try (which is female-speak for "I already hate it, but I'll watch it for at least 15 seconds before I start bitching and moaning about how stupid it is").

[Kureha]

You can't hid things forever. You should start her off slowly on the light cheerful anime. Dog Days for example could slowly pave the way towards Wanko to Kurasou.

Anime is the gates to the world we reside in. So start her off on that and work your way deeper.

[Dusk]

Well, Pezzy. Can you tell me the difference between why one would hide porn mags and why one would hide his love for h-game? I don't know if you've ever bought any before, but I haven't. You can easily sub "porn mags" for your "HD filled with porn" (which I have), and the motive for hiding would still be the same. For me, I feel no shame and have the reputation of a saint, and that's why I have my To-Love Ru Venus illustration artbook openly displayed on my bookshelf in the living room. Of course, I cannot assume that the situation is the same for you, but if you're tempted to risk it all, at least there's one guy telling you to be careful. Also, you did read the second part of my comment where I pretty much tried to encourage you by showing the upside to the risk, right?

Next, who told you to "openly keep things private"? Did I imply that by saying I wouldn't let her into my room? Let me clarify by pointing out that I've mentioned "avoid trouble" right from the beginning. An example would be not to let her into your study room when you have your "secret cache" all over the table. At least, not before you've "tidy up". Unless she starts asking why can't she clean your room for you, I believe it would be better to let it be. Why would she need to know anyway? Is it because you're feeling guilty? Are you gonna drag her down with the knowledge, too? If you were a criminal that had turned over a new leaf, would you risk disrupting the peace in your current home by revealing it?

Now, I see that you've found a answer for your next course of actions, so please ignore my reply. But, hey, like I said, I have an image to uphold here, and I'm not gonna let people think I'm an insensitive/immature guy without at least defending myself. If you still think that about me, then that's okay, as long as you understand where I'm coming from.

[Mana]

Mana - I'm still going to try to test the waters by having her watch Another.  I spoke with her last night, and she agreed to at least give it a try (which is female-speak for "I already hate it, but I'll watch it for at least 15 seconds before I start bitching and moaning about how stupid it is").

It's one thing if she doesn't like it and another if she wants you to stop liking what she doesn't. Don't let it get to that point and it will probably work out.

[Pezzy]

Dusk - I wasn't trying to imply that you are insensitive or immature.  My comments were meant to describe the condition I call "being female".  Don't get me wrong, keeping her away from my shit is what I would love to do.  I'm an intensively private person (I hate people using my phone or computer or knowing anything about anything me-related).  I made a decision awhile ago that, unless I ended up with someone who shared my interests in things from Japan, I would need to keep all my digital goodies hidden.  I think your criminal analogy is a bit off (though I suppose playing some of these games would be illegal is most states, if not all), but I understand what you are trying to say.  "Why rock the boat?"  Part of me is secretly hoping that she might learn to like at least some of this stuff.  I suspect that constantly reading subtitles is what's going to make this difficult.

Mana - Don't worry, it would never get to the point where she wants me to stop.  Honestly, she could want me to stop, but she'd never tell me to.  I'm intensely stubborn, and she knows I'd never give her to a demand like that.

[Green_Tea]

Sounds terrible. How did she do with anime? I got started with ToraDora, normal people might like that. I'm not so familiar with what normal people like anymore though...